Elizabeth’s story

It was 7am on a gloomy winter morning in February 2024 when I received a phone call from my ex-husband that completely flipped my life upside down.

I was informed that my eldest daughter who had just turned eighteen had been admitted into our local A & E Department presenting with severe abdominal pain and heavy bleeding. On examination the medical team discovered that my daughter was in active labour and with no time to transfer her to the nearest maternity hospital she gave birth moments later to a 7lb 3oz baby girl in a cubicle with only a curtain for privacy and completely alone with no family members present.  

My daughter was transported shortly after her daughter’s birth to the local maternity hospital and I subsequently drove directly there.  I have no idea how I arrived safely and in one piece.as I shook with complete shock and disbelief at the inconceivable news I had just received.

I was met at the maternity hospital by a midwife who was caring for my daughter who informed me that she had suffered from a very rare and unique phenomenon called cryptic pregnancy and that this occurs at the onset of labour in 1 in 2500 pregnancies and affects 300 women in the UK every year . It can seem impossible to believe that a women can be pregnant and not know, but without any obvious symptoms to tell that your body is creating a new life, it is entirely possible, especially if you have not had a child before.

It was not until I rushed to my daughter’s side as she lay in sheets soaked in blood, her complexion white and ashen and her eyes resembling golf balls trembling with shock and disbelief at what had just happened to her that I acknowledged the events of this anything but ordinary winter morning. My daughter explained to me that she did not know what was happening to her and that the A & E staff had not communicated to her that she was in labour until she was told to push and looked down and saw a baby.

My daughter was just about to go travelling around the world and had accepted a place at university later that year therefore bringing a child into the world was absolutely not part of her life plan - or on her agenda at this point in her young adult life. In the absence of any obvious symptoms, she was oblivious to the fact she was pregnant and had enjoyed her life as normal up to the point that she gave birth.  

As an educated mother of three with considerable life experience I had never heard of the term ‘cryptic pregnancy’ until it happened to my daughter and I felt I had to learn more about this incredibly unusual and little-understood phenomenon to be better equipped to support her appropriately.   However, my quest for knowledge just drew a blank as there is very limited information in the public domain and it remains a relatively unknown, misunderstood and poorly researched condition.  The only information that I could find was a few documented interviews with women who had suffered from this condition, but after recovering from the initial shock they had embraced their new bundle of joy with gusto, which was the complete antithesis of my daughter’s situation. 

I was astounded by the lack of awareness and training provided to medical and social work professionals especially those working in the ante natal and maternity community who were ill equipped to care for my daughter when it happened to her as they explained that they had never seen it before, and she was therefore treated like every other other ‘new mother.’ 

The countless conversations with the midwives in the hospital who tried to encourage my daughter to breast feed and to try and bond immediately with her baby were absolutely ludicrous given that her baby had arrived unexpectedly into the world just a few hours earlier. We were discharged twelve hours after the birth of her daughter with no additional post natal care apart from the standard community midwife checks at home and we were not given any guidance or support with how to best assist her recovery from a psychological and emotional perspective following the horrendous birth trauma experience she had suffered.

The shock and brutality that my daughter suffered through her unexpected journey to motherhood is indescribable and witnessing her arduous recovery will stay with me forever.

Sadly, this experience has created long-lasting and profound physical, emotional and psychological effects on her wellbeing that will take her entire lifetime to process combined with the judgement and stigma of not being believed and of being bestowed with the label of a ‘teenage mum’ despite it not being through her making.  

My daughter is suffering with severe symptoms of PTSD and has undergone two years of intensive counselling, and has tried EMDR and CBT therapy that we funded to try and help her process what has happened to her, which has had limited positive effects.  I also contacted a handful of charities that provide support to young mothers but most of them were closing down due to lack of funding or were not able to take on any new clients as they were overstretched.

We have been forced to navigate this incredibly tumultuous path alone and as best we could and as a family we have worked together to ensure the best outcome for my daughter and my granddaughter who is now two and a half years old. And despite receiving no ante natal care throughout the pregnancy my granddaughter is presenting as a happy, healthy and carefree toddler, which in itself is a complete miracle. 

My grand daughter’s unexpected arrival into this world has transformed all of our lives especially the landscape of my golden years, as I am caring for her on behalf of my daughter whilst she studies for a sports therapy degree at a local university,  but for me there was no other choice but to move forward with the situation that presented itself and be an integral part of the team that loves, cherishes and raises her. 

The path we have walked has ignited a strong passion within me surrounding women’s ante-natal health and I believe strongly that a clear, concise and effective strategy needs to be adopted to improve the information available and the pre and post birth care provided to women suffering from cryptic pregnancy and the families supporting them. 

I felt compelled to write a memoir of our personal lived experience of cryptic pregnancy that explores the shock and trauma of my daughter’s fragile journey through unexpected motherhood and the resilience and strength that we had to find when our lives changed without warning.

My hope for my memoir ‘Hidden’ is to raise awareness, inform and educate readers of this rare phenomenon but also to bring reassurance, understanding and hope to those facing a similar experience and ultimately, to catalyse change regarding how teenage pregnancy, birth trauma and cryptic pregnancy are perceived and managed within our society today.

Elizabeth’s book can be purchased from Amazon:  Hidden: A Memoir of Cryptic Pregnancy, Family Love and Finding Hope

For more information on cryptic pregnancy please visit www.elizabethmiles.co.uk

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